Saturday, January 17, 2009

Kitchen Antics
Starring Charles and Roxy

In case you haven't met my puppy, that's her there, all curled up on her bed. She looks all cute and adorable and calm when she's asleep. This is not a story about her being cute and adorable and sedate. This is a story about how she's psychic.

She has the amazing ability to intuit when you are getting ready to take her out for a walk. Somehow, she knows the difference between when you are putting on pants and shoes to go somewhere, and when you are putting on pants and shoes to take her outside. When the occasion arises that you're taking her outside, she gets all worked up and prancey. This behavior can annoy Charles, as he's trying to move around the condo, putting on the aforementioned shoes or getting a poop bag or putting his coat on. To be fair, the general pranciness of the dog can get in the way of maneuvering around what I shall refer to as the cozy space of our condo. (Read: small.)

A few nights ago, Charles found himself facing a particularly prancey Roxy. She was prancing around in circles around him in the kitchen, as he was making his way to the back door of the condo. So, as is customary in our little family, he talked back to the dog.

"God, you're annoying, Dog! How would you like it if I did the same thing to you?"

And then, (I am not kidding), Charles began to prance in circles around Roxy. Roxy looked up at him with adoration. Well, Roxy always looks at Charles with adoration. But, mixed in with the adoration and love was a sense of bewilderment and happiness. She was thrilled to be getting attention back from him! She DID like it when he did the same thing to her that she did to him.

Perhaps Charles sensed that he wasn't really proving anything to our dog. Perhaps he got tired of running around in circles. Either way, or as I suspect, with a mixture of both, Charles pulled out of his prance-circle and leaned up against the refrigerator. His eyes got all wide and he threw his arms out to the side in a gesture that clearly signified that he was battling a serious case of dizziness. "Woah!" he said.

The man, in an effort to prove a point to the dog, made himself so dizzy he could barely stand.

There was some panting (both his and the dog's). And there was some serious laughter (mine).

The End


Charles said...

"Somehow, she knows the difference between when you are putting on pants and shoes to go somewhere, and when you are putting on pants and shoes to take her outside."

Not so, my friend. If you make it a habit simply not to get dressed on your days off, then every time you deign to put on pants the little bitch thinks its Party-time-happy-walk-fun-hour. Stupid dog!

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